As I was on my way to my office this morning, it was laid on my heart to share more deeply and personally regarding my own experience “practicing the presence” For those that have read “Practicing the Presence” parts of what follows will likely sound familiar. If you have not read it, let me urge you to do so. While I failed to share this in the original, I strongly believe that this principle and its impact on each of us individually will have a reverse ripple effect on those around us and it is a significant key to unlocking the revival that we and our world are so desperate for. Here is the link so you can go straight to it. Whether you choose to pause reading this message to read it now, or wait until you complete this one, PLEASE just read it!.
As you read on, while these lines and pages will focus on my journey “practicing the presence”, it could not be complete without me sharing other pieces of my story and my testimony of the goodness and grace of my Heavenly Father. So please stay with me when I share experiences that may not seem directly related to our focused topic.
It is at this point that I had begun a version of this message that started at the very beginning of my testimony in my childhood prior even to my accepting Jesus. However, as I have continued to pray and consider this message to you, it has become clear that there was no need to go back that far or deep in order to adequately share what I need to share. I will however hit a few of the highlights from my earlier years, just to set the stage for how we got where I am now.
I was “born again” at Vacation Bible School during the summer that I was 5 years old following completing kindergarten. We attended and were active in Baptist churches throughout my childhood and youth. In fact, in the summer between my junior and senior years I attended my one and only Youth Camp at which I went forward and to accept a call to full-time ministry. After an unsuccessful year of college, I returned home for a year prior to spending the next year and a half in a discipleship and ministry training program. While that time did not result in me going into full-time ministry, it did set me on course for both my personal and professional lives moving forward. While in the program, I met a beautiful young lady with a heart after the Lord and a love for sharing Him with others, just like mine. At this writing, we have been married for 29 years. Upon completion of that program I continued in various forms of ministry while working and attending college, ultimately receiving my Bachelor’s Degree in Human Development and Family Studies and minor in Substance Abuse. We got married in the spring of the next year. We continued to participate in ministry activities through our church while working and studying. As a result of my studies within a couple of years, I earned my Masters in Professional Counseling. In the meantime, my wife also completed her education and became a Occupational Therapy Assistant. As noted we were active in our local church and seemed to find “our place” at least for that season as the part of a core group and as leaders in an House of Prayer, patterned after the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. It was at one of our House of Prayer meetings in which I experienced the most tangible and overwhelming sense of the full extent of “The Presence.” I was laid out prostrate on the floor during a time of worship and prayer and as I lay there, I experienced a weight that rested on my entire body. As it settled on to me, my heart was filled with the revelation of the power and sovereignty of the Almighty. It was such a holy moment that I was literally afraid to breathe for fear of my own carnality and unholiness causing Him to leave. I will say that I have had other times where I was keenly aware of His presence, but no other experience is compared to that one. It was during our time with the House of Prayer that my wife and I both found a deep call to intercession and prayer. In fact, there were a number of families and ministries that the Lord laid it on our hearts to stand as intercessors for on an ongoing basis. Many of which we continue to pray for to this day over 20 years later.
Due to employment needs we would move almost 4 hours to find ourselves, both in a physical and spiritual wilderness. Right after we moved we visited church after church after church we never found one that felt like it was where we were supposed to be. We maintained a healthy strong relationship with the Lord, but found ourselves without the opportunities for ministry that we had enjoyed since we had met. We occasionally visited a couple different churches for services, but as mentioned never felt led to join and or make a local congregation “home.”
Fifteen years ago, in response to what I was seeing in my work as a mental health professional at our local state psychiatric facility, I began writing and sharing it on social media as a means to reach out and offer support and care to those struggling with mental health, substance abuse and other challenges. Initially what I shared was primarily clinical and inspirational with some but only occasional references to faith and the Lord. For the first several years, it seemed like I spent countless hours chatting with individuals from all over the globe. My wife can attest to this, because we had more than one “talk” about the time I was spending online and not with her. While it started out focussed on practical, “earthly” and clinical support, it was not long that the one and only true source of hope started making his way into my posts and direct interactions with those with whom I was sharing. While I never completely abandoned that work, there have been significant breaks in my sharing and posting and over the last several years I have had much less frequent direct interactions with others on this platform.
Over these years despite not having a “church home,” I have found a few oases in the midst of the desert in the form of different Worship groups, ministers or churches that I came across and I found my spirit refreshed for a season. Let me reiterate, while it was a dry season, especially as compared to where we had been in the past, it was not like my wife and I ever fell away from the Lord. Then in the summer of 2024, “The Shift” began. That summer I became aware that a local group of churches and ministries were planning and going to have a city-wide worship event in the park. As a part of the event, they were bringing in a nationally renowned Worship leader that had been a part of my journey over the last several years. My heart leaped when I heard that this individual was coming, because I had watched multiple rally’s and events that he and his team had put on and knew the impact they had on the communities in which they were held. I contacted the organizers and became a part of the intercessory team “preparing the way” for the event. The event came and went and honestly the presence of the Lord was there in part, and there seemed to be a degree of breakthrough in the heavenlies, but nothing like I or any of the other intercessors believed that we would see. It was the following week that I truly started taking significant steps to get to where I am today.
I believed that the Lord still had much more for our city, county and region, thus I founded Revival Watch. Having done so, we continued weekly worship and prayer meetings following the event including a special event on the eve of the national election day. On a personal level. I returned to having personal quiet time communing with Him in prayer and study on a daily basis. I had been listening to Christian music almost exclusively for quite some time already, but I switched to listening to worship music almost exclusively and kept it playing almost all the time. I also began to diligently seek Him and made a concerted effort to maintain a heart and attitude of prayer that was attuned to hear the still small voice of His Spirit even in the midst of other assignments and responsibilities. Then in February, I took another and began fasting one day a week. Yes, I have faced difficulties and challenges during these months, but overall, I have found this season to be the most rewarding in my lifelong journey of faith to this point. It is for this reason that I continue walking this walk on a daily basis. It is for this reason that I felt so compelled to share the original “Practicing the Presence” message and why I also wanted to share this, my journey to get to where I am now. It is my hope and prayer that you can know and experience what I have discovered over these last few months.